March 31, 2013 § 7 Comments
Our family wheeled Anne through the crowded sanctuary. We hadn’t gotten there as early as we had planned. Our usual spot was taken over by the crowds on Easter. We were forced to the front. As we filled the empty chairs, Anne squealed, “Miss Debbie! Miss Debbie!”
Other than family, Miss Debbie is one of the few constants in Anne’s life. Their relationship is the same as it was before the accident when Anne was in her 3-year-old Sunday school class. We haven’t seen Miss Debbie in months. But God let us find her today. « Read the rest of this entry »
December 31, 2012 § 4 Comments
I’m just tired of being sad. This December, I sorta went into an apathetic shell. Thinking back, I think I was just protecting myself from the grief that comes around the holidays. But that shell just got sandblasted. I just need to learn that it is okay to be sad during December.
In 30 short minutes, a new year will be here, and I feel a bit sad. But I’ll say that sadness is a notch better than apathetic, because at least I’m feeling something :-)
But don’t worry. God is here. He always is.
May Anne continue to make progress in 2013! And here is my list of “gratefuls” for 2012.
Key Lime Pie
Anne’s crooked smile
Special time with Kate
Erin and Stacy at church
French Horns… (I love the melancholy tone of a french horn)
Late night movie watching with Eric
My Wednesday bible study group
Mrs. Bush (Anne’s para-pro)
my new iPhone
and finally… the story of Joseph (from the Bible).
God is good. Happy New Year.
October 1, 2012 § 11 Comments
In my former life, I wanted to be a rock star.
And then I started singing in front of people and quickly concluded that my mediocrity would never cut it! But, I still love music and every now and then I pull out my guitar and get inspired to write a song.
A year ago, I sat down with my guitar and had a vision of writing a fun, upbeat song about Anne, but I didn’t want to sugar-coat our circumstances. I wanted it to be real. So, after I finished writing it, I thought, “this might actually be good.”
Last night at one of our church’s Arts events, I had the opportunity to sing Anne’s song with our church’s house band. It was so much fun! Eric took a rough video. The words are below if you want to follow along… (Note: the recording starts half-way through the 1st verse…)
Born to Last
by K. Jackson
I have a picture of her in the garden skippin’
Hair blowing blonde in the sun kissed grass.
She was a wild star blazing, and a sweet song singing.
She’s her Daddy and her Momma’s little sassafrass.
Well. One fine mornin’ we were cookin in the kitchen
and we headed out for errands in the family van.
One wrong turn, and our lives were shattered.
Now she’s fightin’ for her life just as best as she can.
All of that heartache just fades to memory
in the broken girl that God’s made her now.
And we work to love her. And we’re blessed to know her.
She’s a living, breathing picture that was born to last.
Now she struggles with the simplest task. And she asks,
“Mama, why’d God make my life so hard?”
I say, “Jesus says He has a good plan for ya.”
But it hurts to see your girl with an old man’s scars. (Chorus)
She wasn’t born to be an athlete or a beautiful lady in a magazine. No.
She was born to show the love that Jesus has for broken people like you and me.
She’s a broken vessel tired and worn.
Only seven years old, yet she’s pressin’ on.
Well, I have a feeling – when we get to heaven,
She’ll be singing, spinning dancing at the front of the line.
Singing, Spinning, Dancing at the front of the line!
June 3, 2012 § 4 Comments
My new favorite song:
Sometimes messages of hope can seem trite to a heavy heart. But this song manages to hold hope in the midst of sorrow. Steven Curtis Chapman knows grief, and it shows in this song. Hope is the rope that pulls the grief-stricken out of the dark well. It is what I have been lacking. This song helps.
April 26, 2012 § 10 Comments
I’ve learned a few things since Anne’s accident…
1. Anne does not have an “end-point.” In the early months after the accident, it comforted me to think that Anne had a fixed recovery period. Some therapists said one year… others said two years. But it’s been more than two years now, and Anne is still changing – and improving. None of us have “end-points.” I know I don’t! (At least I hope I don’t.) I would like to think I can still improve a little. What makes Anne any different? She will continue to grow and change her whole life. I’m good with that.
2. Anne needs to live life at a different pace than the rest of us. This seems obvious, doesn’t it? But I seem to forget this a lot – and Anne has a very inconvenient way of reminding me…
Like last Thursday afternoon when we had three scheduled activities back to back… Anne decided she needed to go to the bathroom between activity #1 & #2.
April 6, 2012 § 2 Comments
Think of John the Baptist just before he was beheaded. Do you think he questioned whether his whole life’s work – preparing the way for the Messiah – was in vain? Even John the Baptist – who understood better than anyone who the Messiah would be… questioned Jesus. “And John, calling two of his disciples to him, sent them to the Lord, saying, “Are you the one who is to come, or shall we look for another” Luke 7:19?
John knew the Jewish Scriptures. He knew the promises of a Messiah that would come and make all things right, and become King… but Jesus didn’t fit his preconceived mold.
Think of the other John. The gospel-writer John. He had aspirations of being the King’s right-hand man… Ruling the new Kingdom in glory! Imagine how he felt when Jesus – on the cross – commissioned him to care for Mary, His mother. Die? Surely He wouldn’t die. But He did.
And then the darkness came. The utter despair. All hope lost. Dreams were crushed. We’ve all been there, haven’t we? So hopeless that we scream with every cell clenched… “Why God? Where is the good in this?”
It helps knowing the end of the story doesn’t it? Both John’s – on either side of heaven – saw the good of the resurrection. But first, there was the darkness. To a lesser degree, it’s the same with all of our tragedies. We have the benefit of knowing there will be an end to the darkness – whether on earth or in heaven – the darkness will give way to light. The hard part is …the waiting.
It helps to ponder truth during the waiting times. Here’s some good, lyrical truth:-) Happy Easter, friends.
March 19, 2012 § 7 Comments
Sometimes Kate and Anne have the most amazing conversations…
Kate: Anne! DON’T DO THAT!!!
Anne: Kate, It’s not like I have a brain injury or something.
Kate: But you do have a brain injury.
And then Kate starts to cry…
Anne: What’s wrong Kate?
Kate: I miss the old Anne.
Anne: But the new Anne is better than the old Anne.
Kate: Well, I guess that’s true… But the old Anne might be a little bit… gooder.
Thankfully, I refrained from correcting her grammar…
Kate: (after thinking a while) Mommy, you know how Anne almost died in the car accident.
Kate: Well, it’s kinda like a miracle that she lived, right?
Me: Yes, it is a miracle that Anne lived!
Kate: I’ve seen a miracle!!! Anne, Anne – it’s a miracle that you are alive!!!
Anne (singing “Burn for You” by Toby Mac): I feel revived again, I am alive again…
We love our miracle :-)